Friday, July 13, 2012

50 Shades of Grey: Why I chose to NOT read

I first heard of 50 Shades during spring on the Today Show. They were discussing this new "racey" novel that several women were raving about and how it was expected to sweep the nation over the summer. Well, they were right, it's swept the nation alright and I debated upon reading it, but decided to pass.

First off, let me say that I know LOTS of people who have read it and have loved it and I am by no means judging anyone who's read/reading it. But, I just wanted to share my views on why I chose NOT to read it, in case you are trying to decide whether or not it's for you.

Here's why I said "No, thanks"

1) As a christian I know that God designed sex and that he designed it to be amazing- between a husband and a wife. If you were raised to believe that sex was wrong, dirty, or something the Lord frowns upon read the book of Song of Solomon. Holy hot and heavy!
Fact: The Lord made sex. He designed and created EVERY ounce of it, and he made it to be a wonderfully, amazing thing -which it is. Between a husband and wife. Period.
The characters in 50 Shades are not married and while this may not be a big deal to some, it's almost glorifying pre-martial sex. Furthermore, the book is based around them engaging in extreme BDSM (bondage, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism)something I feel the Lord sees as wrong.

2) In our pre-marriage class we had a full session devoted to sex. It was a very open, candid session and lots of things were discussed. One of the topics discussed was porn and whether or not it was something that should be brought into the bedroom. Here's the gist of what we discussed:
Porn should never be brought into a marriage. Sex is designed to bond you to your partner and as the bible says, make you one. When using porn you are watching two people engage in sex that are not you or your husband, thus you are welcoming someone else into your bedroom; the sacred place that the Lord planned for you and your spouse to create a wonderful, intimate bond.
Additionally, by watching/reading something involving someone else, you are not looking to your spouse to satisfy your sexual needs-and that is NOT how the Lord intended sex to be.
Furthermore, porn is preformed by actors/actresses and is created by a producer/director. It's fictional and creating a false sense of what sex is really like.
Lastly, men are very visual and we all know the actresses in porn are far from average looking! ha!- Again, creating a false reality. 

Much like typical porn, 50 Shades is also fictional and is providing women with a false sense of what sex should be. So many women have been quoted as saying they are using it to "spice up their sex life" but what they may not realize is that they are using a source of porn to do so; containing very unrealistic sexual escapades at that.  I know women who would NEVER dare watch an actual porn, or who would kill their husbands if they found out he went to a strip club, yet she is avidly reading 50 Shades. To me, its a double standard because she IS engaged in porn- the book is, after all, labeled "mommy porn" and is so racey that even the man reading it on the Today show began blushing and said he "had to put it down."

For me, I simply see 50 Shades as a way of bringing porn into our marriage and also something that has the danger of creating a false sense of how things "should be." When ultimately making my decision to avoid it, I kept going back to two verses: The first reminded me to engage in what's pure and the last to guard my heart/marriage and I don't see reading the books as following either of those.

Philippians 4:8
 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Proverbs 4:23
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

You may not agree with what I have said and that's totally "ok." Again, I'm not judging anyone who has/is reading it. I just wanted to share my views in hopes that it may help someone else with their decision on whether or not to read it.

Happy Weekend, Y'all :)


  1. My librarian friends HATE 50 Shades because women keep coming in saying they've heard of this book and want to know what it is about! It's also terribly written and incredibly degrading to women. I join you in my anti-reading!

  2. I LOVE how perfectly you explained the feelings and emotions that were going thru my head when I learned from a friend of mine what the book was about... the only thing I could say then was "well, that's just wrong!" Ashlee, thank you for making the post that clearly explains WHY!